why give a phone number to a stranger just because you talk for a while?
I recently posted a question about whether Dutch girls have a particular aversion to giving out their phone number; as in 3 separate experiences with Dutch girls this past weekend, all 3 balked at my request for their mobile number after we had been talking for a good amount of time. In the US, I've not regularly had this issue when chatting up girls at the bars or clubs. This is 1 answer I got: 'They don´t want stalkers on the phone, my friend. It has nothing to do with directness, but why give your phone number to a stranger, just because you talk to him for a while? Next time, give them your number. If they are interested, they´ll call you.' Now, my impression was that the Dutch people are generally direct and concise, so I thought Dutch girls would be more forward about showing a lack of interest than talking to a guy for a half-hour and then shooting him down when he asks for a contact. The question I pose in the subject of this post: is it not the point in giving this stranger your number after you've talked for a while? It's not as though you're going to continue talking to them for 48 hours straight in that one spot in the bar; people have to go home and you exchange contact info to resume an interaction at a later time. Is the second part of that answer I got have something to do with the goal of gender egalitarianism in Dutch society? Instead of the classic 'guy gets girl's number and she has to wait to see if he will call her,' it becomes 'guy offers his number to girl and after if she takes it then he has to wait to see if she will call him' ?? Am I loopy or is this how things work in Holland between guys and girls meeting for the first time? I'm aware that Dutch guys are generally reserved and do not often approach girls first; but is this so ingrained that Dutch girls become somewhat offended if they get approached that they field a conversation for a time and then just wave the hand? Is there some sort of subliminal neo-feminism in all Dutch women? My final thought is regarding the 'if they're interested they'll call you.' Is it not that a guy gets a girl's number and calls her and then 'if they're interested, they'll call you BACK' ?? Someone, please enlighten me on Dutch 'courting rituals' and if I am out of line (queue) to approach a Dutch girl at a bar/club. BTW, I am American and 23 y/o.
Other - Society & Culture - 2 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
this has nothing to do with being dutch or not.. having a conversation with someone doesnt mean an automatic friendship...just cuz im talking to you doesnt mean im interested in pursuing anything with you...
2 :
Easy answer. They were humoring you when they talked to you. Face it, they were just not that into you.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Saturday, April 14, 2012
what does my dream mean
what does my dream mean?
I had a dream that my ex fling sent me an email. He stated that he wasn't dead and that the reason why I haven't heard from him in a while is because the church he goes to has given him a position - I'm not quite sure what his position is but he sign documents. He attached some of the documents he signed onto the email. All of a sudden, after reading the email, the setting changed to a church in Scotland. The congregation is fairly small and when the priest asked for volunteers to go do mission work in Holland he was one of the first one to raise his hand. At that point I started questioning myself if I was going to let him back into my life and pick up where we left off. I was tempted to forget about everything and be his fling again. &that's where my dream stopped. Background information: My fling once left me for seven whole months. Within only waiting a few weeks for him I told him that I didn't want to be his fling anymore. All connection was stopped. Seven months later he comes back into my life. He only stuck around for 2 months. After that 2 months he disappeared again. I got fed up with his disappreance so I sent him a text on Thanksgiving day officially ending everything we ever had. I haven't talked to him since or did he replied back. I kinda check up on him once while and according to his log in he hasn't been on since 47 days ago. So yeah.
Dream Interpretation - 2 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
It might mean that you were wrong about his personality, since he was just a fling. ,aybe you didn't find out enough about him. it might not mean anything thoiugh. i would just ignore and maybe you dreamed it because u wanta serious relationship. get one
2 :
Many of our dreams are messages from our subconscious. It appears that your subconscious would love for him to reappear again, and the only good excuse for his absence would be that he was doing religious work in a church with actual documentation (the signed documents) and seeing the church. Even with all that, you would still be suspicious and have trust issues, which is completely natural. This may also be a warning of sorts from your intuition that he may actually try to reappear; then what will you do? Be prepared! Are you ready to accept someone in your life who comes and goes at their own whims?
I had a dream that my ex fling sent me an email. He stated that he wasn't dead and that the reason why I haven't heard from him in a while is because the church he goes to has given him a position - I'm not quite sure what his position is but he sign documents. He attached some of the documents he signed onto the email. All of a sudden, after reading the email, the setting changed to a church in Scotland. The congregation is fairly small and when the priest asked for volunteers to go do mission work in Holland he was one of the first one to raise his hand. At that point I started questioning myself if I was going to let him back into my life and pick up where we left off. I was tempted to forget about everything and be his fling again. &that's where my dream stopped. Background information: My fling once left me for seven whole months. Within only waiting a few weeks for him I told him that I didn't want to be his fling anymore. All connection was stopped. Seven months later he comes back into my life. He only stuck around for 2 months. After that 2 months he disappeared again. I got fed up with his disappreance so I sent him a text on Thanksgiving day officially ending everything we ever had. I haven't talked to him since or did he replied back. I kinda check up on him once while and according to his log in he hasn't been on since 47 days ago. So yeah.
Dream Interpretation - 2 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
It might mean that you were wrong about his personality, since he was just a fling. ,aybe you didn't find out enough about him. it might not mean anything thoiugh. i would just ignore and maybe you dreamed it because u wanta serious relationship. get one
2 :
Many of our dreams are messages from our subconscious. It appears that your subconscious would love for him to reappear again, and the only good excuse for his absence would be that he was doing religious work in a church with actual documentation (the signed documents) and seeing the church. Even with all that, you would still be suspicious and have trust issues, which is completely natural. This may also be a warning of sorts from your intuition that he may actually try to reappear; then what will you do? Be prepared! Are you ready to accept someone in your life who comes and goes at their own whims?
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Am I average, chubby, fat, or really fat
Am I average, chubby, fat, or really fat?
Hi, Recently I've been feeling very down about my weight. I have always had really thick legs a small waist and big hips, always!! Well not the hips so much but always the legs ever since I was little. I'm 13 and I am 129 lbs. I am about 5 ft 3 inches. I have had to fit my eating habits around my little brother who for almost three years couldn't have any milk at all. My mum used to work in Holland and Barrett so we had LOADS of health food and I practically lived on it. My family are walkers not runners. I can walk for miles at a very fast Pace but when it comes to running...well I'm just about last in most races! Please I need your honest opinion and could you please give me some ideas on how to lose a bit of weight thanks :) pictures: http://profile.imageshack.us/user/bethyexe?n=y
Diet & Fitness - 7 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
You're fine. Please don't obsess over weight. As long as you get exercise and properly feed yourself, you'll be healthy.
2 :
your thin, stop worrying about it.
3 :
Well your not fat. I know right now I am about 5''7' and arounf 145 and took a fat test and i came up average as lean so probably by look your not fat and in general u r prob around 15% fat which is pretty good but you are definitely average
4 :
walk for thirty minutes everyday but if your doctor says you're overweight, then losing some pounds wouldn't hurt. but if your just doing this because your confidence is down it isn't really a smart idea.
5 :
i think you look very good.id say you are an average size.
6 :
I am 13 , 5 4 118 . your fine.
7 :
hey sweetie, you are 13 , still time to lose a little baby weight !! chubby - maybe = baby fat/weight fat - no way !
Hi, Recently I've been feeling very down about my weight. I have always had really thick legs a small waist and big hips, always!! Well not the hips so much but always the legs ever since I was little. I'm 13 and I am 129 lbs. I am about 5 ft 3 inches. I have had to fit my eating habits around my little brother who for almost three years couldn't have any milk at all. My mum used to work in Holland and Barrett so we had LOADS of health food and I practically lived on it. My family are walkers not runners. I can walk for miles at a very fast Pace but when it comes to running...well I'm just about last in most races! Please I need your honest opinion and could you please give me some ideas on how to lose a bit of weight thanks :) pictures: http://profile.imageshack.us/user/bethyexe?n=y
Diet & Fitness - 7 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
You're fine. Please don't obsess over weight. As long as you get exercise and properly feed yourself, you'll be healthy.
2 :
your thin, stop worrying about it.
3 :
Well your not fat. I know right now I am about 5''7' and arounf 145 and took a fat test and i came up average as lean so probably by look your not fat and in general u r prob around 15% fat which is pretty good but you are definitely average
4 :
walk for thirty minutes everyday but if your doctor says you're overweight, then losing some pounds wouldn't hurt. but if your just doing this because your confidence is down it isn't really a smart idea.
5 :
i think you look very good.id say you are an average size.
6 :
I am 13 , 5 4 118 . your fine.
7 :
hey sweetie, you are 13 , still time to lose a little baby weight !! chubby - maybe = baby fat/weight fat - no way !
Sunday, April 1, 2012
why give a phone number to a stranger just because you talk for a while
why give a phone number to a stranger just because you talk for a while?
I recently posted a question about whether Dutch girls have a particular aversion to giving out their phone number; as in 3 separate experiences with Dutch girls this past weekend, all 3 balked at my request for their mobile number after we had been talking for a good amount of time. In the US, I've not regularly had this issue when chatting up girls at the bars or clubs. This is 1 answer I got: 'They don´t want stalkers on the phone, my friend. It has nothing to do with directness, but why give your phone number to a stranger, just because you talk to him for a while? Next time, give them your number. If they are interested, they´ll call you.' Now, my impression was that the Dutch people are generally direct and concise, so I thought Dutch girls would be more forward about showing a lack of interest than talking to a guy for a half-hour and then shooting him down when he asks for a contact. The question I pose in the subject of this post: is it not the point in giving this stranger your number after you've talked for a while? It's not as though you're going to continue talking to them for 48 hours straight in that one spot in the bar; people have to go home and you exchange contact info to resume an interaction at a later time. Is the second part of that answer I got have something to do with the goal of gender egalitarianism in Dutch society? Instead of the classic 'guy gets girl's number and she has to wait to see if he will call her,' it becomes 'guy offers his number to girl and after if she takes it then he has to wait to see if she will call him' ?? Am I loopy or is this how things work in Holland between guys and girls meeting for the first time? I'm aware that Dutch guys are generally reserved and do not often approach girls first; but is this so ingrained that Dutch girls become somewhat offended if they get approached that they field a conversation for a time and then just wave the hand? Is there some sort of subliminal neo-feminism in all Dutch women? My final thought is regarding the 'if they're interested they'll call you.' Is it not that a guy gets a girl's number and calls her and then 'if they're interested, they'll call you BACK' ?? Someone, please enlighten me on Dutch 'courting rituals' and if I am out of line (queue) to approach a Dutch girl at a bar/club. BTW, I am American and 23 y/o.
Etiquette - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
First of all, all countries aside, just because a girl talks to a guy while out, doesn't mean that she wants to continue talking to him after. I think offering your number to her is a good idea--then it puts the ball in her court. And with cell phones and all, anybody can see your number pop up and you may not want to talk to them. It used to be more private back in the day--you had to wait to see if they would call you back, etc. I have no idea how the Dutch work, but you are reading into it A LOT. Why are you so offended by this behavior? Having that difficult of time getting together with the ladies? Maybe choose a different way, like volunteering, taking a class, etc. and get to know them outside of purely social situations. Or make friends with a girl and ask her (without asking her out).
I recently posted a question about whether Dutch girls have a particular aversion to giving out their phone number; as in 3 separate experiences with Dutch girls this past weekend, all 3 balked at my request for their mobile number after we had been talking for a good amount of time. In the US, I've not regularly had this issue when chatting up girls at the bars or clubs. This is 1 answer I got: 'They don´t want stalkers on the phone, my friend. It has nothing to do with directness, but why give your phone number to a stranger, just because you talk to him for a while? Next time, give them your number. If they are interested, they´ll call you.' Now, my impression was that the Dutch people are generally direct and concise, so I thought Dutch girls would be more forward about showing a lack of interest than talking to a guy for a half-hour and then shooting him down when he asks for a contact. The question I pose in the subject of this post: is it not the point in giving this stranger your number after you've talked for a while? It's not as though you're going to continue talking to them for 48 hours straight in that one spot in the bar; people have to go home and you exchange contact info to resume an interaction at a later time. Is the second part of that answer I got have something to do with the goal of gender egalitarianism in Dutch society? Instead of the classic 'guy gets girl's number and she has to wait to see if he will call her,' it becomes 'guy offers his number to girl and after if she takes it then he has to wait to see if she will call him' ?? Am I loopy or is this how things work in Holland between guys and girls meeting for the first time? I'm aware that Dutch guys are generally reserved and do not often approach girls first; but is this so ingrained that Dutch girls become somewhat offended if they get approached that they field a conversation for a time and then just wave the hand? Is there some sort of subliminal neo-feminism in all Dutch women? My final thought is regarding the 'if they're interested they'll call you.' Is it not that a guy gets a girl's number and calls her and then 'if they're interested, they'll call you BACK' ?? Someone, please enlighten me on Dutch 'courting rituals' and if I am out of line (queue) to approach a Dutch girl at a bar/club. BTW, I am American and 23 y/o.
Etiquette - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
First of all, all countries aside, just because a girl talks to a guy while out, doesn't mean that she wants to continue talking to him after. I think offering your number to her is a good idea--then it puts the ball in her court. And with cell phones and all, anybody can see your number pop up and you may not want to talk to them. It used to be more private back in the day--you had to wait to see if they would call you back, etc. I have no idea how the Dutch work, but you are reading into it A LOT. Why are you so offended by this behavior? Having that difficult of time getting together with the ladies? Maybe choose a different way, like volunteering, taking a class, etc. and get to know them outside of purely social situations. Or make friends with a girl and ask her (without asking her out).
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