why give a phone number to a stranger just because you talk for a while?
I recently posted a question about whether Dutch girls have a particular aversion to giving out their phone number; as in 3 separate experiences with Dutch girls this past weekend, all 3 balked at my request for their mobile number after we had been talking for a good amount of time. In the US, I've not regularly had this issue when chatting up girls at the bars or clubs. This is 1 answer I got: 'They don´t want stalkers on the phone, my friend. It has nothing to do with directness, but why give your phone number to a stranger, just because you talk to him for a while? Next time, give them your number. If they are interested, they´ll call you.' Now, my impression was that the Dutch people are generally direct and concise, so I thought Dutch girls would be more forward about showing a lack of interest than talking to a guy for a half-hour and then shooting him down when he asks for a contact. The question I pose in the subject of this post: is it not the point in giving this stranger your number after you've talked for a while? It's not as though you're going to continue talking to them for 48 hours straight in that one spot in the bar; people have to go home and you exchange contact info to resume an interaction at a later time. Is the second part of that answer I got have something to do with the goal of gender egalitarianism in Dutch society? Instead of the classic 'guy gets girl's number and she has to wait to see if he will call her,' it becomes 'guy offers his number to girl and after if she takes it then he has to wait to see if she will call him' ?? Am I loopy or is this how things work in Holland between guys and girls meeting for the first time? I'm aware that Dutch guys are generally reserved and do not often approach girls first; but is this so ingrained that Dutch girls become somewhat offended if they get approached that they field a conversation for a time and then just wave the hand? Is there some sort of subliminal neo-feminism in all Dutch women? My final thought is regarding the 'if they're interested they'll call you.' Is it not that a guy gets a girl's number and calls her and then 'if they're interested, they'll call you BACK' ?? Someone, please enlighten me on Dutch 'courting rituals' and if I am out of line (queue) to approach a Dutch girl at a bar/club. BTW, I am American and 23 y/o.
Etiquette - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
First of all, all countries aside, just because a girl talks to a guy while out, doesn't mean that she wants to continue talking to him after. I think offering your number to her is a good idea--then it puts the ball in her court. And with cell phones and all, anybody can see your number pop up and you may not want to talk to them. It used to be more private back in the day--you had to wait to see if they would call you back, etc. I have no idea how the Dutch work, but you are reading into it A LOT. Why are you so offended by this behavior? Having that difficult of time getting together with the ladies? Maybe choose a different way, like volunteering, taking a class, etc. and get to know them outside of purely social situations. Or make friends with a girl and ask her (without asking her out).
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
why give a phone number to a stranger just because you talk for a while
why give a phone number to a stranger just because you talk for a while?
I recently posted a question about whether Dutch girls have a particular aversion to giving out their phone number; as in 3 separate experiences with Dutch girls this past weekend, all 3 balked at my request for their mobile number after we had been talking for a good amount of time. In the US, I've not regularly had this issue when chatting up girls at the bars or clubs. This is 1 answer I got: 'They don´t want stalkers on the phone, my friend. It has nothing to do with directness, but why give your phone number to a stranger, just because you talk to him for a while? Next time, give them your number. If they are interested, they´ll call you.' Now, my impression was that the Dutch people are generally direct and concise, so I thought Dutch girls would be more forward about showing a lack of interest than talking to a guy for a half-hour and then shooting him down when he asks for a contact. The question I pose in the subject of this post: is it not the point in giving this stranger your number after you've talked for a while? It's not as though you're going to continue talking to them for 48 hours straight in that one spot in the bar; people have to go home and you exchange contact info to resume an interaction at a later time. Is the second part of that answer I got have something to do with the goal of gender egalitarianism in Dutch society? Instead of the classic 'guy gets girl's number and she has to wait to see if he will call her,' it becomes 'guy offers his number to girl and after if she takes it then he has to wait to see if she will call him' ?? Am I loopy or is this how things work in Holland between guys and girls meeting for the first time? I'm aware that Dutch guys are generally reserved and do not often approach girls first; but is this so ingrained that Dutch girls become somewhat offended if they get approached that they field a conversation for a time and then just wave the hand? Is there some sort of subliminal neo-feminism in all Dutch women? My final thought is regarding the 'if they're interested they'll call you.' Is it not that a guy gets a girl's number and calls her and then 'if they're interested, they'll call you BACK' ?? Someone, please enlighten me on Dutch 'courting rituals' and if I am out of line (queue) to approach a Dutch girl at a bar/club. BTW, I am American and 23 y/o.
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Every girl is different! You need to stop categorizing girls as if they are all the same. There is no general rule as to how "Dutch Girls" behave... or how "American Girls" behave... Some girls go to a bar to meet guys and give out their number. Some girls would prefer to get the guy's number so that she has control over the next move. Some girls just don't like being approached by random guys at the bar and exchange their number. Next time, when you are talking to a girl and if you really like her and genuinely want to see her again, and she seems interested in you, ask her if she would like to meet up for a drink sometime (or something similar)... if she says yes, then ask to exchange numbers (you get hers, she gets yours), then if you are both interested, it might work out... if she doesn't go along with it, then move on, it's not a big deal!
I recently posted a question about whether Dutch girls have a particular aversion to giving out their phone number; as in 3 separate experiences with Dutch girls this past weekend, all 3 balked at my request for their mobile number after we had been talking for a good amount of time. In the US, I've not regularly had this issue when chatting up girls at the bars or clubs. This is 1 answer I got: 'They don´t want stalkers on the phone, my friend. It has nothing to do with directness, but why give your phone number to a stranger, just because you talk to him for a while? Next time, give them your number. If they are interested, they´ll call you.' Now, my impression was that the Dutch people are generally direct and concise, so I thought Dutch girls would be more forward about showing a lack of interest than talking to a guy for a half-hour and then shooting him down when he asks for a contact. The question I pose in the subject of this post: is it not the point in giving this stranger your number after you've talked for a while? It's not as though you're going to continue talking to them for 48 hours straight in that one spot in the bar; people have to go home and you exchange contact info to resume an interaction at a later time. Is the second part of that answer I got have something to do with the goal of gender egalitarianism in Dutch society? Instead of the classic 'guy gets girl's number and she has to wait to see if he will call her,' it becomes 'guy offers his number to girl and after if she takes it then he has to wait to see if she will call him' ?? Am I loopy or is this how things work in Holland between guys and girls meeting for the first time? I'm aware that Dutch guys are generally reserved and do not often approach girls first; but is this so ingrained that Dutch girls become somewhat offended if they get approached that they field a conversation for a time and then just wave the hand? Is there some sort of subliminal neo-feminism in all Dutch women? My final thought is regarding the 'if they're interested they'll call you.' Is it not that a guy gets a girl's number and calls her and then 'if they're interested, they'll call you BACK' ?? Someone, please enlighten me on Dutch 'courting rituals' and if I am out of line (queue) to approach a Dutch girl at a bar/club. BTW, I am American and 23 y/o.
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Every girl is different! You need to stop categorizing girls as if they are all the same. There is no general rule as to how "Dutch Girls" behave... or how "American Girls" behave... Some girls go to a bar to meet guys and give out their number. Some girls would prefer to get the guy's number so that she has control over the next move. Some girls just don't like being approached by random guys at the bar and exchange their number. Next time, when you are talking to a girl and if you really like her and genuinely want to see her again, and she seems interested in you, ask her if she would like to meet up for a drink sometime (or something similar)... if she says yes, then ask to exchange numbers (you get hers, she gets yours), then if you are both interested, it might work out... if she doesn't go along with it, then move on, it's not a big deal!
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
I know that there is a double tax if you are a NJ resident and work in NY but how about the other way around
I know that there is a double tax if you are a NJ resident and work in NY but how about the other way around?
I am a New york resident and i recently heard that you have to pay tax for both states? i dont know much about taxes so any ideas on if i have to pay? Cos maybe like the holland tunnel fee going into NYC cost money but going out doesnt so if im trying to work in NJ?
United States - 2 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
There is no "double tax" per se. What happens is that if you work in NY you are taxed by NY and NJ but when you complete your taxes at year end, you get an allowance for your NY taxes on your NJ taxes. You have to complete tax returns for both NY and NJ. The same thing happens if you live in NY and work in NJ.
2 :
And then you'll pay the Holland Tunnel toll going home. In the simplest terms, you'll pay the higher tax of the two states. You'll file a non-resident tax return with the state where you work. Any tax that you pay to the state where you work will be used as a credit to the state where you live. Example: You work in NY but live in NJ. The tax you owe NY is $1000 and the tax you owe NJ is $700. When you file your NJ return, you won't owe them any money because what you paid NY more than covers it. OK, now say you owe NY $700 and NJ $1000. When you file your NJ return, you will only owe them $300 since you get a $700 against the $1000. Nothing with New York is simple. However, New Jersey has an agreement with Pennsylvania where if you live in one state and work in the other, you owe have to file with the state where you live.
I am a New york resident and i recently heard that you have to pay tax for both states? i dont know much about taxes so any ideas on if i have to pay? Cos maybe like the holland tunnel fee going into NYC cost money but going out doesnt so if im trying to work in NJ?
United States - 2 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
There is no "double tax" per se. What happens is that if you work in NY you are taxed by NY and NJ but when you complete your taxes at year end, you get an allowance for your NY taxes on your NJ taxes. You have to complete tax returns for both NY and NJ. The same thing happens if you live in NY and work in NJ.
2 :
And then you'll pay the Holland Tunnel toll going home. In the simplest terms, you'll pay the higher tax of the two states. You'll file a non-resident tax return with the state where you work. Any tax that you pay to the state where you work will be used as a credit to the state where you live. Example: You work in NY but live in NJ. The tax you owe NY is $1000 and the tax you owe NJ is $700. When you file your NJ return, you won't owe them any money because what you paid NY more than covers it. OK, now say you owe NY $700 and NJ $1000. When you file your NJ return, you will only owe them $300 since you get a $700 against the $1000. Nothing with New York is simple. However, New Jersey has an agreement with Pennsylvania where if you live in one state and work in the other, you owe have to file with the state where you live.
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